I was lazily lying on the sofa watching a boring movie when a call came through. It was my friend Vicky calling. ” Niaje Steve” she asked from the other end. Half laughing. ” Niko kairetu” I responded.
“Mtu hufanyaje akiwa so high on weed?”
I laughed. What kind of question was that? First, I don’t smoke weed and secondly I wouldn’t know the antidote.
“Mimi hata sijui”
We broke in laughter.
“Kwani kumeenda aje?” I asked.
Ni cookie zingine hapa nimekula.
We broke again in laughter.
Ebu niwekee cookies mimi pia nitakujia kesho after work.
It’s okey, nitakuwekea.
That was a bad idea
——–
The following day I had forgotten about the cookies. Late that night I received a text from her. ” Hey”. I right away knew it was a reminder that I was to pick something. I quickly replied that I would be collecting the cookies the following day. “They will expire” she reminded.
Wacha jana I decide to go pick the cookies. Weeeeeeh!!!!! It was one bad idea. On my way to her place I thought of all things that could possibly happen. Prospects of receiving servings of two cookies was likely, then I would go mad.
I stopped by two nearby shops to buy tools of pleasure just in case. In both shops they looked at me with those judgmental eyes of “you will go to hell you sinner”. I was tempted to tell them off and remind them they are all products of coitus. But I decided to keep my thoughts to myself. I swallowed my tongue and counted my self half unlucky. It seemed I would have to be contented with one cookie.
It is the third and last shop where hope shone. There was a young jamaa selling and so I knew there was a high chance of getting tools of pleasure. ” Niaje, uko na studded?” I asked. Ziko bro tena variety mob.
I first took one packet but then decided, with weed cookies in the menu, one would not be enough. “Hata niongezee ingine.”
Mimi huyoooo!!! na packets mbili mfukoni. I was feeling pumped up like a stallion as I made my way to her place.
On getting to her apartment she had guests who were watching a movie. I knew hapo hapo cookie ya pili nimehata.
“Make yourself comfortable” she said. It had been a while since we last talked and therefore we had a lot of catching up to do. Sema story zetu kuflow as the rest watched their movie. We did not want to bore others with our stories and so she suggested we talk from her bedroom
Hapa ndio boyshaod hutumia all prediction methods that would beat weather forecast. I started watching out for signs of what was in store. Then I heard the magical words “I hope huendi” as a cookie was handed to me.
Wacha boyshaod achangamkie weed cookie. “Na usikule yote otherwise kesho utaandika story” she said. We burst in laughter as I munched on. All this while she was throwing this suggestive look. Her sleepy eyes sparkling. Her short hair looked so dark and neat. I was tempted to run my fingers through.
My head started feeling hot and my hair rose. I could feel my eyes open wider as a flush of warmth swept through me to places that really matter. Johnny decided it was his time to be all time alert. Hakuna kulala.
Then my heart started palpating really hard, I could feel it in my mouth
Then I started feeling a warm sensation on my left side of the chest. I was so sure it was an onset of heart attack. Any time from now I would be so gone. But I was not going to die like a coward. I said to myself. I might as well die happy then bloggers will have something to write about. Of a guy who was killed by ecstasy. I laughed at myself as I thought of all crazy headlines that would fill the blogs and gutter press. “Kachero azimika akila asali” was one of them.”alijitosa kwenye uringo wa anasa na kutokomea akila uroda” another would read. ” A guy collapses while on top” another would read.
All these crazy thoughts were running as I sat on the edge of the bed. She had changed in her nightie and was half covered inside the duvet, her back leaning on the bed rest. She seemed to be reading my mind.
I wanted to tell her that I would be getting a heart attack soon and pronounce my will but then I thought against it. Why scare her while you can give her one final memory to live with? that ka crazy guy in my head asked.
Without wasting much more time that I did not have, I reached for her and tasted her lips. It was deep, deliberate and sensual. All my senses were on overdrive and everything felt magnified.
I kissed her pouty lips as my hands explored her contours like an experienced sculptor. The way her body responded to the touch was tantalizing. My fingers landed on her flower and parted her soft petals.
She cried softly as exploration of her pleasure garden hit a crescendo. Multiple successive tremors followed as nectar after nectar dripped. Remember my senses were up. I counted five consecutive explosions
You are getting a heart attack soon poor fellow. The ka guy in my head shouted. Make this moment count he added. She gripped my hand. She wanted a harder exploration and the hand complied.
Few more minutes looser. The ka person in my head shouted. The count down had just began. I quicky unwrapped pinched, placed and rolled before hitting my way through the walls of Jericho with earnest. It was deep, hard and furious.
Let us just say when I woke up in the morning, I was still here; alive and breathing but pinching,placing and rolling had happened more than average times leaving me with zero strength to even lift an eye lid.
All I was able to mutter was ” kwani jana kulienda je?” She just blushed, smiled and said “hakuna”.
END!!!!!!
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