Vulnerable

Every night she cried herself to sleep. As far as she could remember, she had been nothing but a good wife to him. What she had considered a pillar of support had faded just like that. Like a smoke from a chimney, their dreams of growing together had disappeared in the thin air.

They say time is healer. But time was not doing this magical healing it is said to do. Whenever she had an issue she talked to him. Tony was her confidant. Being an introvert she was, it was difficult to share with anyone else.

She lapsed into depression and loneliness that dragged on for a while. She was no longer sure about herself. For once, she doubted if she was as beautiful as Tony had always told her long before they hit a snag.

Months of loneliness turned to years. Saddness had become her companion. She wore it like an ugly stain.

During one of her lonely cold nights tucked inside her blankets, she explored her interwebs. By sheer chance a certain group on Facebook popped up. She decided to click the join button and see what was inside there.

The people there seemed very friendly and accommodating. Juicy Stories after were flowing, one after another. She remembered how she loved reading novels. But her busy work schedule had not made it easy to keep reading.

She was glad she had joined. She felt home.

—————-

The first story was by a lady writer who had such a prowess with words. What she liked most was her way of hitting back. She was not the kind to sit wallowing in self pity. Instead, she served her badly behaving man with sweet and hot revenge.

She found herself smiling as she read her stories. The female character was not only dramatic but unpredictable too. She had characteristics of a brave and self confident woman. An iron lady with a golden heart.

Lilian was immersed in the stories so much that she did not notice how fast time had moved. Soon she was hooked good. Reading stories became part of her valued moments. She explored more and more stories from different writers.

——–

Six months into her newly found love, the power of words, she bumped into this new writer. There was something about his stories. They were not only captivating but addictive too.She wished she was the female character in his stories. The way he treated her was sweet and enviable. Their love life was perfect. I was about dinners in five start hotels and vacations to the beautiful islands. It was about a bouquet of flowers surprise in her work station, A pizza delivery and many beautiful acts of love. She was jealous of this character.

What had she really done to not deserve such a treatment by Tony? She hated her life. She hated herself for not being good enough in the eyes of those she loved. She resented her life.She felt the story was taking long to be written and she wanted to hear more about this characters’ life. Would Lulu the character get married to prince charming? Would it be a white wedding? Would something tragic happen? She wondered. The storyline was full of twists, turns and suspense.She found herself urging the writer to keep going. She was growing impatient.

” Please don’t keep us waiting” she wrote on his post. He responded with an emoji to acknowledge her.She was elated. This must be such a cool guy. She thought to herself as she waited for the next chapter.

The more the story continued, the more she liked the male character. He was such a gentleman. He treated Lulu so nicely like a princess she was. The wedding setup in the story was as she had hoped with Tony. Only that, theirs did not have such funfair. it was just a simple garden wedding. She loved and treasured it nevertheless. What mattered was that she would have her man to her side for the rest of her life. They would grow old together and watch their children bring forth beautiful grandchildren. So she had hoped.

She developed a liking for the writer for the way he shaped his tales. She was glued to his works. Following, liking commenting and what have you. A day could not go without her looking whether he had written some more. His and stories from others occupied her lonely life. She was no longer feeling lonely. She had virtual characters she could interact with. Judge without a consequence, Love without a sneer and call them stupid if she felt they had fucked up.

You see, we are likely to open up to strangers than we are to people we are related to. This mainly because we believe they will judge us less. She was no different. Numerous times she contemplated sharing her story with the story teller. But something else held her back. The time is not right. She always told herself. Maybe I need to know this guy more before i share my story. She checked out his profile. He looked like a guy who had it all together. Atleast from what she could see, he looked focused and responsible.

She shelved the thought of inboxing him. The stories had given her some sought of therapy and in the process she had also made few more friends albeit virtually. She was no longer feeling as lonely. Atleast she was able to forget Tony and the hurt he had caused her.

She vowed to rebuild her life again. To be the great woman she had always wanted to be. To scale up the corporate ladder and be a business woman of repute. One day, just one day, Tony would feel sorry for leaving her. She resolved to work towards bettering herself.

———-

One lazy morning, she woke up to an inbox. ” Could you kindly give me your number or call me on this number 07………..”. It was from her favourite writer. What could it be? She wondered. She did not call right away. instead she got ready for work. On her way to work she got thinking. Was it right for her to call a guy who she had not met? Maybe it was right maybe it was wrong. But the best of friends started as strangers.

As she took her lunch break she decided to call him. “Hey, is this Benson?” “Speaking”. The voice on the other end sounded calm and collected. “Oh Lillian, my keen follower”. “Yes.” She smiled at his response. “You have finally called, that is so sweet of you, I thought you would never call.”

“Why not?”, they laughed.

The ice had been broken and this marked the start of their regular conversations about life, hobbies,politics, writing and what have you.

One week into their conversation he had told her about himself. He said he was a divorcee with two children and a business person trying to be the best for his children. He even sent her photos of his lovely looking kids to that effect. She was proud of him for being a responsible man unlike her wayward husband who had blown away their fortune with twilight girls. She also shared a little bit about her self. About her en-strangled marriage and the way she was trying to cope with being a single woman.

Every evening, she looked forward to their conversations. Nights were no longer as lonely as before. At least she had a made a friend albeit virtually. He told her of his days’ errands, his children, his business and his plans. He sounded very organized, focused and sweet. Why had she not met such a man? Why was she this unlucky?

It follows that she also found it easy to open up. Something she had never done before with a stranger. Her information felt safe with him. After all, he had also shared a lot about himself.

———–

One evening he sent her two pictures of the latest cars. A Toyota V8 and a Toyota ZX followed with a message. “What do you think?” She was surprised. What did she really think other than they were great cars? “I like them” she replied. “I hope one day i can buy myself one of them. Why?” Not that she could not but she had other priorities. If anything she was comfortable with her X-trail.

Well, which one would you go for? He asked. Well, I think a V8 would do for me.The went on and on discussing the two models. At the back of her mind she wondered why he had asked the question. Finally she asked. “Well, I am planning to buy one more car next month. Just a little more saving and I am good. I was torn between the two, thanks for helping make my mind.” She felt humbled that he found her an ideal person to guide him in making such a huge decision.

The only time her husband consulted her was when they were getting a house. Everything else they got later was a surprise. Her opinion never mattered. But here was a stranger who found her useful. She had a mixed of feeling. Happy and sad at the same time.